Okay, so the industry is suffering from “SOS.” So what! That is no excuse for the writers of the Los Angeles Times Calendar section to fill their pages with unimaginative, hackneyed crap! Come on, I subscribe to the Times for a reason, I want to be informed. I already have to put up with a ton of advertisements, isn’t that bad enough? I read the Calendar section for movie reviews and information pertinent to what’s going on in the entertainment industry. Not for mindless dribble! I opened the Calendar last week and on page D3 I found one of the most asinine articles I’ve come across in recent memory entitled “Hairy costar: Nicolas Cage tends to share a screen with scene stealing coiffures.” Please! Who the hell wants to know about Nick’s hairstyles! The photo article consisted of a single paragraph introduction, followed by 8 pictures of Nick Cage accenting his hairstyle in various movie roles from 1986’s ‘Peggy Sue got Married’ to this years yet to be released ‘Drive Angry’. Beneath each picture was a brief character analysis, a description of the doo and what the doo says about the character. Huh? Am I missing something here. I even read each caption just in case I was missing something! I wasn’t. How did this waste of space get in my newspaper? Did this writer actually get paid for this fluff? Did an editor actually hear the pitch for this piece and approve it or did he give the go ahead based on previous assignments? I can hear it now. “Yeah Ed(itor) I’ve got this terrific Nick Cage piece. It centers on eight of his key movie characters and-” Ed interrupts, “Nick Cage you say, yeah, he’s got a couple of new films coming out, he’s usually good copy, yeah, run with it.”
And so it goes. Frankly I don’t know who could have possibly enjoyed this article, except maybe hairdressers. What’s next Jodie Foster’s doos? From 1975’s ‘Taxi Driver’ through this years ‘The Beaver,’ or maybe the shoe stylings of Haley Berry, or the various chapeaus worn by Nicole Kidman? No wait,I’ve got it! Get This, Mr. Calendar Editor, how about a pictorial history of Angelina Jolie swim wear, from ‘Lara Croft: Tomb Raiders’ to ‘Gia’ and beyond! now there’s a story with legs. You’ve got to admit, it would definitely make for good copy! And it would be a whole lot better than Nicholas Cage’s doo history! It might even be worth a full page! Come on Calendar get those writers on it! It seems they don’t have anything better to do with their time anyway….