"The Ghost of Brother's Past"

Isn’t it strange the way the past sometimes comes back to haunt us. Well maybe not really haunt us but simply to remind us of what was or as in my case who was. My brother has been on  my mind a lot the last couple of weeks. I suppose it’s because his birthday was nine days ago. He would have been 51. It’s hard to believe he’s been gone nearly a year and a half. It doesn’t seem nearly that long.  

Do I miss my brother? Of course I do. I miss the man he could be, the man he was when he was sober, my fun-loving, kindhearted, baby brother, the man who was always willing to lend a hand – when he wasn’t drinking that is.Yeah he could be a great guy! What I don’t miss at all is all of his bullshit, all his misdirected anger, rage and ugliness, the bitter phone calls, the threats, and the way he took advantage of our father. I don’t miss that in the least.

Like I said I’d already been thinking  a lot about him, then a week ago Saturday, the day after his birthday I came across a prayer book I’d misplaced and hand’t seen in God knows how long. I set it on the bookshelf and on Sunday morning took it to church with me. I was sitting in church reading from it and when I turned the page and there was a picture of my brother smiling up at me! I couldn’t believe it! It was my brother’s obituary program! How it got there I have no idea. Obviously I must have put it there at sometime but I couldn’t recall when. It was eerie. And during the week while cleaning out the garage I came across a few more reminders. Yeah, it was as though my bro was just letting me know he’s still around.

Then last night I was having a beer with some friends in the backyard. We were drinking from Budweiser pilsner glasses but for somehow I wound up with a Bud Light pilsner glass with an image of Spuds MacKenzie on it. Considering that I can’t stand the taste of Bud Light, I couldn’t for the life of me understand where it had come from. Then It dawned on me, my thrift store, yard/estate sale shopping wife probable picked it up on one of her outings. Yeah, that had to be it. I thought nothing more of it until later in the evening.

About an hour later we had moved inside and were sitting at the kitchen counter talking. I was sitting with the Bud Light glass in my hand when I noticed something. Right below the image of Spuds there was some small black printing that I hadn’t seen outside. I lifted the glass and held it to the light and was blown away. Beneath Spuds in very small print was the name ‘Ted Sausedo.’  The glass had been my brothers! I couldn’t believe it!  He’d made himself known again! It was uncanny.

I suppose there are those who would say it’s all just coincidence but I’m really not so sure. The separation between the living and the dead may not be as great as we’ve been led to believe. Some theorize that death is merely a passage from the land of the living as we know it, to an existence on another plane or dimension parallel to our own. If this is the case, then our dearly departed might be right here right now, existing with us but on a different level. Perhaps that is why there are so many reports of supernatural and paranormal activity. Guess we’ll just have to wait and find out for ourselves.

Now I can’t explain the incidents of the past couple of weeks involving my brother but they did happen, of that there is no doubt. Then again I didn’t see any ghosts or anything, just some weird, yet timely experiences.  It certainly got me thinking, but I’m not saying I’m a true believer nor am I saying I’m a non believer,

I’m just saying…



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