(Reposted With Corrections)
Last night more than 28 million curious viewers tuned in to watch the season premiere of Two and a Half Men. Most tuned in to see if replacement Ashton Kutcher could fill the shoes of the dearly departed Charlie Harper. Or perhaps like me, they tuned in to see how they would handle Charlie’s funeral. I was actually surprised at what a good job they did of setting it up. Charlie’s favorite bowling shirt over the coffin was a nice touch, but when the service actually began it was a total sham. Just an opportunity for creator/producer Chuck Lorre to exact some revenge on Charlie. Seems he went out of the way to slam Charlie from every direction. Perhaps Sheen is right, maybe Lorre really is a troll.
And the crude comments made by Charlie’s ex girlfriends were not very funny and actually rather crude. I just didn’t find their STD comments very funny. One ex says “All Charlie gave me is herpes.” followed by other ex calling out “gave me Chlamydia ,”and yet another “vaginal warts.” Then there was the stupid comment about pantie tea. Please! If they hated him so much why the hell were they there?
Then there was the short segment about Charlie’s $28,000 illegal drug debt what was that about? More Lorre payback? And what was up with his mother? Yes I know she can be a cold-hearted bitch, but her little sales and open house pitch during the service was too much. She just lost her son for Godsakes! Couldn’t Lorre have allowed her to at least play the grieving mother for a minute or two? She came across as more self serving and callous than Charlie ever did.
Then there was Rose, the woman in black complete with veiled face. Rose the slightly deranged neighbor who stalked Charlie for years and at the end of last season flies away with him to Paris. When she speaks at Charlie’s service she pretty much confesses to pushing Charlie into the path of an oncoming train for being unfaithful to her. And when describing his death she says, “His body exploded like a balloon full of meat.” Now what’s funny about that? That’s just plain sick! This is comedy at it’s best? I think not! Let’s face it the first show was simply not funny!
The rest of the show didn’t fare much better. Jon Cryer’s conversation with Charlie’s ashes was mostly funny, but Ashton’s sudden appearance on the patio was just plain dumb. Come on, he tries to kill himself because his wife has rejected him by walking out into the ocean? Then he discovers that the water is too cold and that he should have worn a wet suit. Please! Then he gets out of the water, walks across the sand and climbs up the patio supports onto Charlie’s patio. Why? Was he planning to break in? It was just a very odd entry for the newest member of the cast. Strange indeed. The front door would have worked better.
The rest of the show sucked. The Dust Buster jokes were totally lame. When Berta says “I’m not cleaning him up!” I could only shake my head and wonder why the show, once one of the best was so freakin’ bad! As Dan Aykroyd used to say on Saturday Night Live’s ‘Bad Theater’ “Terrible! Absolutely terrible! ” Ashton’s character, Walden Schmidt was lifeless, he had no flair and brought nothing fresh to the show. The new energy he was supposed to bring to the show never materialized. He was like a three way light bulb stuck on low. He run’s around the condo naked most of the time and the large penis jokes got old quickly. They would have been better served on HBO’s ‘Hung’. I tell you a big dick will not save the show even if it’s Ashton Kutcher’s.
Very disappointing. I think Charlie deserved a much better send off this. Sure he was a womanizing, lush who did his thinking with his penis, but come on Chuck Lorre crucified him. I hope he feels better now, but I doubt it. More than likely he’ll throw in a dig or two now and then during the season. What a troll! Why couldn’t he have allowed Charlie a little dignity in death? Why did Lorre have to portray him as not only a drunk, but a drug abuser as well? Why did he wait until Charlie’s passing to reveal that he was broke and held three mortgages on his Malibu bachelor pad? Why? Payback plain and simple. Besides, Charlie wasn’t stupid, he would have had mortgage insurance or at least life insurance! Duh!
I think it would have been cool if Lorre would have had Charlie leave the house to his brother and nephew. His one last act of good will. That way Alan and his son could continue living there. They could have taken on a boarder (Ashton) to make ends meet and life goes on. Fat chance of that happening. Lorre did what he had to: get back at Charlie.
Is it just me or did anyone else watching miss Charlie as much as I did? Charlie Harper was the nucleus of the show. It was built around him. Without Charlie the show is doomed. Thanks for nothing Lorre. You’ve signed the death sentence for a once great show. You killed off Charlie and in doing so buried the show.
I have nothing against Ashton Kutcher he’s an okay actor, but once the curiosity factor wears off, veiwers will grow weary of the show and it will fade away. I wouldn’t doubt if this is its final season. Face it, the show is dull and tarnished. Without Charlie Harper Two and a Half Men has lost its brilliance and luster. It’s lost it’s Sheen…. Thankfully we’ve got eight seasons of reruns.