Many people look forward to the New Year for a new start on old habits. – Anonymous
So I’ve made my resolution. for 2012, “to strengthen my relationship with my wife” the easy part is done. Now comes the tough part, seeing it through. Please don’t misunderstand my wife and I have a good relationship, but I’d like it to be great one, all the time! Okay, all the time might be unrealistic, but it would be wonderful if it could be great at least 95% of the time. Yes I know it’s a lofty goal, but a virtuous one and worthy of the time and effort needed to make it happen. Right now I’d have to put as at about 70/30 so I’ve got some work to do, no, we both do.
This February we will have known each other 40 years, that’s two thirds of my life! 38 of those years we’ve been married. I tell you, it’s been one wild and crazy ride, but well worth it. Like my wife is fond of saying “We’ve been to hell and back!” Yeah we have, and I must confess I’m responsible for most of the hellishness. Sorry about that! I definitely didn’t make things easy, but it’s difficult when your dream becomes a nightmare.
I’m not referring to my dream of being married and having kids, Ray is the best thing that ever happened to me. No, I’m talking about my selfish, personal dreams of what I wanted from life, my dream of finding my niche, being happy and enjoying my chosen career, but that’s quite difficult when you haven’t a clue as to what you should or want to be doing. My dream job kept eluding me. From 20 to 32 I held so many damn jobs it was ridiculous! I must have had a dozen of them! I worked for the Post Office, Frito Lay, Arcadia Lumber, Trans America and the phone company. I was in sales, I was a mechanic, a forklift operator, a merchandiser and a truck driver! Yeah I held a few jobs, a jack of all trades and master of none. Except for once, each job change paid better than the last, but I still wasn’t satisfied, they left me unfulfilled, bitter and hard to live with. I was not a happy man. Foolishly my dreams were the root of our problem. It should have never been about me and my dream, it should have always been about us and our dream.
We’ve come a long way from that November day when two naive kids blindly entered marriage without a clue as to what we were really getting into. But then that’s what happens when you marry young. I had just turned 22 and Ray was 19. We were living on hope and a prayer, and believe me, there were lots of prayers! Yeah, once you pass through the newlywed stage and reality sets in, you find yourself wondering “Oh my God, what the hell did I get myself into?” You find yourselves forced to grow up together. Sometimes you find yourselves growing apart and your partnership dissolves. There were many people who didn’t think we had a chance of making it work. Boy were they wrong! Thanks in large part to our stubbornness and some spark that refused to go out even in the darkest of times, we are still together all these years later.
So, my resolution this year is extremely important to me. My wife is my best friend and I don’ want any meanness in our relationship, I want every moment of our lives together to be meaningful. I do have a plan. An article I came across on internet entitled “Eight ways to Strengthen Your Relationship” by Heather Prouty offers up some great advice and useful tips on how to get the job done. Yes, I’m taking marital advice from a woman! But why not? I’ve been taking advice from my woman for years. All, no most, no some, has actually been quite good! Just kidding! My wife has given me lots of good advice. I owe her a major debt of gratitude for allowing me and supporting me when I returned to college so that I could realize my dream, our dream, of being happy in my chosen career. Thanks Babe! Love you!
Now let’s get started on strengthening our relationship. Let’s make it the best that we possibly can! Lets not merely be friends, but best of friends. Let’s learn to work together to gain a sense of balance when it comes to our personal needs and make our time together quality time. And most importantly let’s take the time to really listen to one another. It will be well worth the time and toil. The end result will be equal to the love and effort we put into it. Let’s make 2012 our best year ever and each day the first day of the rest of our lives!
I’ve included the link to the article and encourage you all to read it.
It can help. Even when things are good, they can be better.
“I’ve go to admit it’s getting better, a little better all the time.” The Beatles