As the end of another year approaches, I find myself taking a long reflective, look back on 2010 and asking, “WHERE THE HELL DID 2010 GO? It seems like only weeks ago we were cheering in the New Year and now here we are ready to bid 2010 a fond farewell and welcome in yet another new year! Well you know what they say, (whoever they are) “Time flies when you’re having fun.” Hell, it flies even when you’re not having fun! This sensation of ‘time flying” is nothing new. It’s been written about for centuries. In 1838 in his poem, “A Psalm of Life” H.W. Longfellow writes of the passage of time;
“Art is long and Time is fleeting, and our hearts though stout and brave, Still, like muffled drums, are beating funeral marches to the grave.”
In other words, time flies and every passing day brings us closer to our graves, so we should live in the present and strife to make our lives better. And whatever we accomplish, our writing, painting, music, whatever, will last long after we’re gone. Good thought. The past is dead, the future uncertain, so all we have is now. Carpe Diem! Actually the poem touches on much more, including the afterlife and is quite beautiful. I highly recommend reading it.
With that said, let me tell you, “Growing old is a real bitch.” It really is. My mind doesn’t seem to get any older, Okay, I confess I do forget things from time to times, but aside from that my mind still feels young. It may be 59 like the rest of me, but it still thinks it’s 25. (well, maybe 35) Now my body, well that’s another story. My shell is wearing away. I’ve learned the hard way that there are some things I just can’t do anymore, my body just won’t let me and I take so much longer to heal. It’s a real downer. Then there are all the aches and pains! Lately I find myself making those old people noises when I get up from the couch, climb out of bed or get out of my car. Actually, now that I think of it, I’ve been making those noises for quite awhile. I wish there was some way to trick my body into feeling 25 again. Fat chance.
My God, 59 years old! There are so many things I haven’t done, so many things I haven’t tried. I know that if I would use my time wisely I might be able to accomplish many of them, but learning how to get the most out of each day is a hard skill to master. Somehow, no matter how hard I try, the days just continue to slip away. The elusive nature of time is amazing. Of course I have learned a lot on my journey. I’ve acquired a fair amount of knowledge and wisdom from my 59 years of life’s lessons, but I’m still far from the man I want to be, the man I know I can and should be. Believe me I’m trying! Every day I tell myself “Today will be the day. Today will be the day I become kinder, gentler, more caring and loving.” Then something happens and all my good intentions fly out the window. It may be hopeless but I choose to believe it is possible, and that one day I will succeed. Maybe tomorrow will be the day. I sure hope so…