"Driving Me Crazy Again"

Crazy, Bad Driver's

Okay, I confess, I have a real problem. I can’t deny it. I suffer from bouts of rage. Yes, thats right I’m a road-rageaholic! I have a real problem with bad drivers! I can’t stand the way they drive! I can tolerate an awful lot, but when someone drives like a complete idiot, I can’t help myself. I get upset.

Take tonight for instance, there I was driving along with my wife in my mini van headed to dinner, when out of nowhere an idiot driver decided to mess with me.  I mean, there I was minding my own business, accelerating up a freeway on ramp at sixty-five mph preparing to merge into traffic, when I glanced in my driver’s side rear view mirror to make sure the lane was clear so I could merge right.  In the mirror I saw a dark blue Honda approaching. As I watched the driver deliberately accelerated and sped up right along side of me. there I was, travelling at 65 mph with the merge lane coming to an end, sandwiched between the sound wall and this idiot driver! Did I mention she was a woman? Not that that it makes a difference, a bad woman driver is just an idiot driver without a penis. So there I was, forced to brake to avoid a collision. Fortunately the driver behind her (another woman) saw what was going on and slowed down to allow me the room to pull in behind the idiot driver!

I was beside myself. I could have understood if she had maintained her speed and I wasn’t going fast enough to merge, I would have gladly taken my foot off the gas and pulled in behind her, but I was going freeway speed and this fricking lady chose to  accelerate!  I still can’t believe it!   My wife knew I was pissed and immediately pointed out that the woman had a handicap emblem on her license plate. I couldn’t believe my ears! Was she actually making excuses for this lame driver? I told her that was not an excuse, being handicapped did not give a driver the right to drive like an ass! and if their handicap impaired their driving they shouldn’t have a driver’s license. With that said I sped up and pulled up right on her bumper. I rode her butt for a few hundred feet then pulled left into the number two lane.

I pulled up along side the woman’s vehicle and wanted to scream at her but neither she nor her passenger, presumably her husband, would look over in my direction. They stared straight ahead as if I wasn’t even there. That only infuriated me more, so I pulled a little bit ahead and swerved right, like I was going to try and squeeze in, in front of them. She  backed way off! Satisfied, I went on my way.

My wife was very upset with me. She didn’t approve of how I handled the situation. Okay, okay, maybe the swerve thing there at the end was a bit much. Maybe, just maybe I over-reacted just a tad, but that driver was in the wrong. She made a bonehead move one that could have caused an accident. Could one car length have really been that important? I don’t think so. This woman deliberately accelerated to keep me from merging! How would you feel? My wife insists that I over-reacted. She said I should have honked my horn and flipped the woman off. I don’t think so. For some driving offenses maybe. One of those ‘oops’ moves might get a honk or a finger wave, but this driver made a conscious choice to drive badly. Honking my horn at her would have been like wagging my finger at her. naughty, naughty.

The act of driving is interactive. You don’t just get in your car, put on blinders and drive full steam ahead, you drive with alertness, you pay attention to everything that’s going on around you and you drive accordingly. Maybe the way I chose to deal with that driver was a little over the top.  Maybe I should have just braked and fallen in behind her like a good boy and simply let it go. Perhaps I acted impulsively. Nah! Truth be told, I simply don’t care! I did what I did, and I’d no doubt do it again! Bad or inconsiderate drivers cannot get away with being boneheads behind the wheel. The road belongs to all of us! Learn to drive considerately or take the fricken bus!

Just a thought…


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