"Inner Demons -1 Mork – 0"

“Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary situation.”

“Suicide is not the ‘coward’s way out,’ it is simply dying on your own terms.”

imagesCAQNACQKI know, I know, “Inner Demons -1   Mork – 0” may sound a little harsh or even crass, but it’s the truth. I mean you spend your life battling your inner demon(s), in a constant  struggle to stay afloat on the sea of sanity, then one day decide you’ve had enough. You’ve grown tired of the struggle and come to the false realization that you can’t win and don’t have the energy or will to continue trying, so you take your own life. Game over. You lose. You automatically forfeit the win to your inner demon. “Nanu nanu,” Mork lost.

 I first heard about his death Monday afternoon while listening to the radio. I thought it was a gag, some elaborate hoax from the king of comedy. I kept waiting for the punch line but it never came. Comic genius Robin Williams dead at 63. Another victim of depression driven suicide. Odd really, but I never imagined Robin Williams as that guy. Oh I know he had his demons and in the throes of depression, it’s all you hear about on the news. But I also know he could have beaten back those demons again and overcome his depression as he had in the past. Apparently he didn’t.

Like everyone I was initially saddened by William’s untimely death but it wasn’t long before my sadness abated and I began feeling disturbed and a bit angry. You see I never saw Robin Williams  as the type who would lose all hope and check out by his own hand. I saw him as a more spiritual being, a believer who knew the importance of the gift of life, love and yes, laughter. I guess I believed he was more like Chris in “What Dreams May Come” or T.S. Garp.  How could this man, “oh captain my captain” who taught me the importance of ‘carpe diem’ more than twenty years ago take his own life?  He was Peter Pan! For God sakes why couldn’t he just bring up his ‘happy thought’ and fly above his pain?  How could he just give up like that? How could he do that to his family?

But of course none of those men were really Robin Williams, they were only roles he was playing and he played them believably well. It’s truly a shame that more of the qualities many of the characters he portrayed possessed didn’t become a part of him. It’s obvious that many did for he was a good man, kind loving and compassionate. It’s a tragedy that his inner demons ate away at him with such fury like some runaway cancer and tormented him to his death. Robin Williams, the real, vulnerable and pained Robin, alone and afraid, just couldn’t take it anymore and choose to end his life. His choice, our loss. What a waste. God forgive him.


Rest in Peace...

Rest in Peace…





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