"One of Those Days – Again"

"The Bud Man"

Thursday was one of those days. You know, the kind of day when you’ve got something on your mind and it just keeps eating away at you. Seems no matter how hard you try, you just can’t shake it. Even my busy appointment schedule didn’t help. This time around I actually had someone on my mind rather than something. For some reason I just could not stop thinking about my buddy Brian, the person my website is dedicated to. He passed away nearly three years ago on Thanksgiving Day.This Sunday would have been his 59th birthday.

For the last several years of his life, August seemed to be a particularly difficult month for him. Call it the birthday blues if you will but he’d get extremely depressed and despondent, and tended to over medicate, so much so that he ended up being hospitalized in August in back 07 and 08. I’m not sure what it was about his birthday month that brought him down, but it only got worse after he discovered his mom dead in her room just before Christmas 2006.  It was a very traumatic experience for him. She’d been dead for a couple of days when he found her. He was haunted by the event for the remainder of his life.
His untimely death still weighs heavy on me. Although it didn’t really surprise me. He was a recovering alcoholic for twenty plus years and had been to hell and back on more than one occasion. I knew he was taking several prescription to deal with his ailments, both physical and mental, but I thought he’d be around awhile longer than he was.
Bri was a fighter. No matter what kind of crap life threw his way or he happened to stumble upon, he somehow found his way through. It wasn’t always easy and sometimes he’d take the long way, but he always seemed to battle back. Except the last time.
Yeah, I really wish he were still around, I really miss him. I wish we could just sit around and shoot the shit like we did in the the old days. I miss his wry sense of humor. No one I know has a sense of humor like his. We understood each other, always did.  I wish we could have gone cruising in my 64 El Camino listening to “Billy The Mountain” or Ruben and the Jets.”  We talked about doing it by phone a month or so before his death, but it never happened. I should have made it happen. I just thought we had more time. I thought wrong.
“Thought about you all day bro. I had a feeling you were close by. I don’t know, maybe you just dropped by to see how I was doing or see how things are going. I hope so. Pop in anytime. You’re always welcome.” Love you man… “
Happy Birthday Bri

"Brian & Me"


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